Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Hello, Insecurity...

I am almost finished with Beth Moore's new book, So Long, Insecurity, and let me just say that I have never in my life been as insecure about my insecurities as I am right now. I should have known. She admitted to this very thing herself, so I should have seen it coming. But, oh buddy, I had no idea it would hit this hard. I would laugh if it weren't so cotton-pickin' painful and humiliating. OK, typing that made me laugh which confirms there is hope for the future. *laugh*

In an effort to be transparent, I'm going to start listing some of my common psychotic tendencies. Keep in mind this list is not exhaustive even though each and every one of these has completely exhausted me at one time or another. I'm not even sure what's going to come out of this brainstorm so it could get interesting.

*I wonder if I'm a horrible cook if I bring home leftovers from our monthly church potluck. I already KNOW I am not a horrible cook, but it doesn't keep me from wondering.

*When I watch the relating going on between the adults and students at Overflow, I am convinced I am the world's worst youth leader. On the planet. This very, very large planet. I have actually reasoned that I shouldn't quit because I can at least do the grunt work so that all the other wonderful youth leaders will be freed up to do all of their wonderful youth leading.

*If I pour my heart (or brain) out to someone in an email, even a very close friend, and I get no response, I tend to convince myself they are freaked out by my obnoxious candor and their non-response is the least confrontational way they can think to maintain healthy boundaries.

OK, I've decided three examples is enough. Reading it in black and white is...so much worse. *laugh* Father God, you've got your work cut out for you.

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